


Cats Here, Cats There, Cats and Kittens Everywhere

by Noah_Northstar



Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Cats, Fluff, Kissing, Kittens, M/M, Rebecca Hutman (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27358489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noah_Northstar/pseuds/Noah_Northstar
Summary: 5 Times Larry had to sneak cats out of the museum, and 1 Time he didn't have to
Relationships: Ahkmenrah/Larry Daley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77





	Cats Here, Cats There, Cats and Kittens Everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a line from a story called Millions of Cats by Wanda Gág.
> 
> Based on this post from @headcanons-at-the-museum : https://headcanons-at-the-museum.tumblr.com/post/632332363877236736/ahk-keeps-trying-to-take-in-stray-cats-and-larry
> 
> also references this post as well: https://headcanons-at-the-museum.tumblr.com/post/633462546600542208/columbus-is-magnetic-hijinks-ensue
> 
> Warning: self-indulgent tablet guardians fluff with cats.
> 
> blah blah blah, I don't own the characters. you know the drill.

  1. The first time Larry almost, _almost_ , doesn’t even notice the cat until it’s too late.



To be fair, a new temporary exhibit had just been installed that afternoon, and so the ensuing chaos of wrangling, and then confining the extra North American large mammals had kind of eclipsed everything else.

But there it was. Larry wasn’t exactly sure by what sort of miracle he was able to get the cat into his jacket without waking it before McPhee walked through the door, but somehow Larry was able to get the cat out of the building without any trouble.

Once he was a few blocks away, he gently removed the cat from his coat.

Finally waking, the cat gave Larry what he felt was an undeserved ungrateful glance before leaping gracefully out of his arms and trotting away.

Larry shook his head and went home to go sleep. It had been a long night.

  1. The second time it was the middle of winter. Some of the exhibits had been begging to go outside and see the snow.



After counting heads to make sure everyone who had gone _out_ had come back _in_ , Larry noticed that Sacagawea and several others were all crowded around Ahkmenrah.

Raising a suspicious eyebrow and getting that feeling that Nicky had called ‘museum Spidey sense’, Larry approached the group to see what everyone was excited about, hoping it wasn’t anything too difficult to clean up and/or explain away in the morning.

“She’s so soft!” Sacagawea was stroking the head of a black and white splotched cat that was purring in the pharaoh’s arms.

Larry groaned softly. This was going to be just like when he’d had to explain to a five-year-old Nicky that _no, they were not getting a dog_.

“Look, I really hate to rain on your parade here, but this cat can’t stay.” He had everyone’s attention now.

Sacagawea put a hand on his shoulder. “We know, but,” she looked at the group before looking back at Larry. “It _was_ quite cold out, and it wouldn’t hurt to let her stay until the morning, would it?”

Larry sighed, defeated. “Yeah, sure.”

Sacagawea gave him a grateful smile, one of the Huns gave him a painful slap on the back, and Ahkmenrah gave him a kiss on the cheek. Larry’s heart did _not_ skip a beat.

_Anyways_ , everyone was so enamored with the cat, what could Larry do but let everyone gather around the cat while he looked up the nearest animal shelter?

Making an extra quick last check of the exhibits after sunrise, Larry scooped up the cat and locked up earlier than usual, ignoring the disgruntled look on the cab driver’s face when he saw the squirming cat in Larry’s arms. Larry racked his brain for an excuse to tell McPhee for leaving early.

  1. The third time, Larry barely got to work on time. He’d had to get up earlier than usual so he could go to a parent-teacher conference for Nicky (Erica and Don were out for something Larry couldn’t remember).



By the time Larry got to work he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. So when Ahkmenrah and Sacagawea took pity on him and took him to go rest, Larry didn’t complain.

He _also_ didn’t notice Jedediah, Octavius, and several other of the miniatures riding a striped gray kitten like an elephant through the hallways.

Larry hadn’t realized how tired he’d been until he woke up, the first rays of sunlight in his eyes, the pharaoh’s cape covering him like a blanket, and a weight on his chest.

Wait. What?

Larry lifted his head and found a pair of blue kitten eyes staring back at him.

Oh no. _Another_ cat??

Larry made a mental note to figure out how these cats kept getting in as he sat up, pushing the kitten off his chest and carefully smoothing the cape out.

“You,” the kitten looked up at Larry. “Stay here and don’t make a mess.” Reasonably, Larry knew the cat didn’t understand him, but with the way things were at the museum, Larry figured it was worth trying.

After putting the cape back in the Egypt exhibit, Larry found the kitten about to give the break room couch some new scratches.

“No! Stop!” The kitten started and scrambled under the couch.

Larry groaned and got on his hands and knees, trying to coax it out. After about fifteen minutes and thinking he should have worn a glove, he had the kitten in his hands. Checking his watch, Larry hurried to leave, hoping he wouldn’t run into McPhee or anyone else on his way out.

Thankfully McPhee seemed to be running late for something and didn’t notice the wriggling lump in Larry’s coat. One of the historians working at the museum gave him a funny look passing him on the stairs, but didn’t say anything.

For some reason Larry had the same disgruntled cab driver, who didn’t say anything to Larry either, muttering to himself about nutty people with animals in the cab. 

  1. The fourth time, Larry was already in a bad mood and it was only midnight.



Everything had seemed fine when he got in, even Rexy was a little less… rowdy, and so he hadn’t thought much of it when the weekly soccer match was set up in the atrium.

Larry could’ve kicked himself. Of course, _something_ had to go wrong. He looked away for _two seconds_ and something had gone awry with the match.

Columbus had been upset about… something. Larry didn’t know any Italian, and Columbus refused to learn English, and it had taken a half hour of incoherent back and forth for Larry to finally remember reading that Columbus knew Latin and send someone to fetch one of the Roman miniatures.

So when the RC car with Jed and Octavius had crashed into Larry’s shin, it didn’t help that they weren’t there about the translation.

“Gigantor, you’re never gonna believe this!” Neither of the miniatures got out of the car, and Larry put his face in his hands.

“Let me guess, your Latin isn’t his Latin.” Jedediah and Octavius looked at each other in confusion.

“What? No, Larry, there’s something you need to see.” Octavius leaned out of the tiny car window, concerned urgency in his voice. Larry pulled his hands away from his face and was about to say that he was kind of busy when a Union soldier returned with one of the Romans in its hand. Larry let out a tired sigh.

“Fine! You,” he jabbed a finger in the direction of the Roman. “Figure out what Columbus wants. Work it out you guys, or I’m confiscating the soccer ball!”

“Okay, what’s so important?” Larry knelt down to look into the RC car. Its occupants looked at each other before looking back at him.

“It might be best if you saw for yourself.” Octavius was fiddling with the hem of his cape.

Larry hadn’t been sure of what to expect, but a cat and _five kittens_ hadn’t been his first thought as he entered the storage room.

“Guys… how?” Larry was certain he would not be able to fit all six cats into his coat. “How long have they been here?”

Jed hopped out of the car. “Well, we were exploring around, and we saw ol’ momma cat there carrying the orange one in,” he nodded at the pile of cats, “and we figured we’d see how many there were before we fetched ya, and, well…”

“They were settled in, Larry, we can’t move them!” Octavius cut in.

“Who’s ‘we’? _I_ have to figure out what to do about these cats before I get fired!” Larry ran a hand through his hair, scrunching his eyes closed, hoping maybe the cats would disappear. They didn’t.

“How do they keep getting in??” Larry mused more to himself than an actual question as he emptied a discarded cardboard box of used touch-up paint and old styrofoam.

“Not a clue, Gigantor, but maybe if the museum _had_ a cat, it would chase the other ones away. Ain’t they territorial? They-” Jed was interrupted by a cough from Octavius that sounded suspiciously like _Don’t push it._

The box empty, Larry had been standing behind the sleeping cats trying to figure out how to get them into the box, but looked over at the miniatures, wary. “What are you not telling me?”

“It isn’t us, my liege, I swear,” Octavius said earnestly. “But perhaps this is something you may want to discuss with our Egyptian friend on your own. Ow!” Jedediah had elbowed him in the ribs.

The miniatures had gotten back in the RC car and left the storage room, leaving Larry still holding the cardboard box, distracted somewhat from the cat dilemma at the thought of the pharaoh.

Two hours and a few scratches later, Larry felt he had come to an understanding with the mother cat, and had all six cats in the box. He was starting to think that he understood the term ‘herding cats’ now, and honestly? He’d rather go back and deal with an angry Columbus.

Fortunately for Larry, once they were in the box, the cats seemed to be fine staying there. _Un_ fortunately, he ran right into McPhee as he was leaving.

“Mr. Daley! What do you have here?” Larry hadn’t gotten this far when playing the escape scenario in his head.

“Uhhh… this? Yeah, I just thought, uh, why let empty paint containers and styrofoam go to waste? They great for, uh, hobbies and stuff.”

The box meowed.

“What was that?” McPhee raised an unconvinced eyebrow.

“Haha, nothing! Just my, uh,” He shifted the box to one arm and gestured with his newly freed hand. His phone fell to the floor with a clack.

Carefully kneeling to pick it up, Larry recovered himself. “It must’ve been my phone! I let my kid play with it and he probably changed my ringtones. You know kids!”

Larry hurried away with the box, hoping McPhee didn’t know that Nicky was old enough to have his own phone, barely avoiding bumping into one of the daytime employees as he rushed out the door.

  1. The fifth time, Larry was a little… preoccupied to notice or even care how the cat had gotten in.



Larry Daley was pushed up against the wall of the Egyptian exhibit and was in the middle of an insistent kiss from Ahkmenrah. The pharaoh’s hands had untucked Larry’s shirt and were exploring his chest.

Suddenly something warm and fuzzy rubbed against Larry’s shin.

Startled, he pushed back, and Ahkmenrah made a concerned and confused face. “What’s wrong?”

Larry looked down at the source of the unexpected touch to see an orange and white cat scrambling back at his sudden movement. It had the audacity to look at Larry like it was _Larry’s_ fault for ruining the moment.

“Okay, this is ridiculous! Where are all these cats _coming_ from?!” Larry ran a hand through his hair.

Ahkmenrah had picked up the cat and was petting it absentmindedly. “Hmm… I wonder…” He turned to where the tablet was displayed on the wall, taking his hand from petting the cat and putting it to the tablet, closing his eyes for a moment. He turned back to Larry with a guilty look.

“My apologies, I sometimes forget just how closely the tablet is tied to my inner thoughts. I’ve been missing my cat lately, and, well…” The pharaoh trailed off.

Larry blinked. “What? I didn’t know you had a cat.” His eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Didn’t you guys have your cats buried with you?”

The pharaoh turned away. “Sometimes, but it would seem that was not the case for me, I was dead, and I’m not even sure of what was dug up and what stayed at other places I’ve been on display,”

Ahkmenrah’s eyes darkened. “especially considering I wasn’t able to leave my sarcophagus for over fifty years.” He shuddered. Larry looked away, guilty.

The pharaoh’s anxious spiral was interrupted as the cat jumped out of his arms, seeing a new person enter the room.

“Ahk, does the tablet have anything to do with Columbus being magnetic? ‘Cause we’re having some problems out here and-” The cat was purring and rubbing on Nicky’s legs. He looked at the cat and then to the two adults. “Is this one an exhibit or did another one get in?”

Larry ran a hand over his face. “We’re figuring that out now. It looks like Ahk’s been accidentally summoning them.” He looked at the pharaoh for support.

Ahkmenrah shifted from one foot to the other. “The tablet’s magic connects to me, and it-”

“This one has a collar!” Nicky interjected, gently holding the cat’s head up with one hand and using the other to study the tag, and looking at Larry. “Dad, this cat is a long way from home!”

Larry walked over and crouched next to Nicky, taking a look at the cat’s tag, and let out a low whistle. “Okay. I’d better call that number. Ahk,” the night guard looked up at Ahkmenrah. “Please try not to summon any more cats, at least not for a little while?”

The pharaoh gave Larry a sad and solemn nod as the night guard carried the cat to the atrium to call the cat’s owners.

“So… magnetic Columbus?” Nicky asked Ahkmenrah.

______________

The cat’s owners had been relieved to hear it was safe, and it had wandered off to socialize with the exhibits as Larry negotiated with them on how to get it back home.

Larry had then needed the rest of the night to find the cat again- sleeping in Sacagawea’s arms. Larry was about to ask her where it had been, but his alarm went off, waking the cat. Sunrise.

Sighing to himself as he coaxed the cat out of the wax woman’s arms, being careful to make sure she didn’t sustain any scratches, Larry made a mental note to wash his night guard jacket.

Placing the cat in his son’s arms, Larry silently thanked whatever deities were hanging out up there that it was summer and told Nicky to wait outside after he finished making his final rounds.

Larry was about to pat himself on the back for taking care of the cat when McPhee pulled him aside. Of course. _Don’t celebrate yet, Daley!_

“I don’t know _how_ you do it, Mr. Daley, but if your stunts didn’t keep bringing people into the museum, you would be out of a job!” McPhee spat.

He led Larry back to Sacagawea’s exhibit. “Now. What is _this_ supposed to be?” Sacagawea was not frozen in her regular pose. Her arms were still in the cradling pose from holding the sleeping cat.

Larry tried to think if it would be worth explaining what actually happened. “Well-”

“It looks like we’re missing something! And there isn’t time to remold it! Is this funny to you? Ha ha, let me just change the statues for giggles?” Larry could practically see the steam coming out of McPhee’s ears. “How do you even manage it? People are going to ask about it, you know. We take historical accuracy seriously here!”

“Didn’t she have a baby?” Larry interrupted, hoping it wouldn’t put him over the edge of ‘unexplainable weird suggestions that ultimately benefit the museum somehow’ and into ‘unexplainably crazy suggestions that will make you lose your job’ territory.

This caught McPhee off guard. “What?”

Larry took the opportunity to push the suggestion that Sacagawea had been asking about for a while. “Sacagawea. She had a baby with her on the Lewis and Clark expedition. You could have a wax baby made for her. You know, for _historical accuracy_.”

“I’ll ask about it.” McPhee huffed. “But the animal hair! I’ve found tufts of it everywhere! A museum shouldn’t need to have an allergy warning!” Larry brushed a couple of hairs off his uniform.

“Oh, _this_!” Larry pretended to be surprised, pulling a few of the hairs to study them as if he’s never seen them before. “I was cat-sitting for a friend this week and it got into my uniform before I left for work, it won’t happen again, I promise.”

McPhee glared at him. “You are on _very_ thin ice.” He turned and walked away.

Larry practically ran out of the building, hurrying Nicky and the cat back home as quickly as he could.

+1. Larry was determined to never need to sneak a cat or any other animal out of the museum again. It was too much work.

So for the next week, Larry went to the museum’s archives and looked for anything he could find on Ahkmenrah’s cat, mummified cats, or anything that could reasonably be requested to be moved to the Natural History Museum.

Larry was surprised to find that the cat, or, at the very least, _a_ cat, belonging to the fourth king of the fourth king _had_ been mummified, and was in another museum’s archive.

With Rebecca as backup, and enough cajoling to make Larry wonder if his favor with the museum was running out, Larry was able to convince McPhee and the museum’s board to have the cat transferred.

It would take a few months of museum paperwork and other things Larry didn’t fully understand, but Larry hoped it would be soon enough that there wouldn’t be time to have any more regular cats get into the museum.

Luckily for the night guard, the artifact in question arrived the first week of December, and there hadn’t been a single incident in the meantime.

Leaving Nicky to be there when the exhibits woke up and babysit for Sacagawea, Larry sat in the storeroom, waiting by an open crate on a worktable, waiting for sunset. At first, it seemed like nothing was happening, and Larry worried that something had gone wrong with the tablet.

“Mew?” A black paw reached through the fragile bindings. Grinning excitedly, Larry began carefully unwrapping the cat. The cat was surprisingly calm about the process, but Larry was still glad he was wearing thick gloves. Better safe than having unexplainable scratches on his arm.

Free of the wrappings, the cat had begun washing itself, eyes closing, ignoring Larry as he removed the gloves.

“Okay, cat. Ahk’s gonna be happy to see you, huh?” Larry started to pick up the cat, but it had jumped off the worktable and was making its way into the museum on its own, as if it knew the territory.

“Well okay then.” Larry followed the cat, who took the shortest route to the Egyptian exhibit as if guided by some invisible force. Knowing the tablet, Larry wondered if maybe it was.

Ahkmenrah was studying the tablet and didn’t notice the cat until it was pawing gently at his leg. The pharaoh gasped, bending down to run a hand over the cat’s head and back, looking the animal in the eyes. “Is it really you? But how?”

Leaning about as comfortably as one can with a couple of giant jackal guards in the background, Larry smiled. “Happy St. Nicholas Day!* Is that the right cat?”

Returning the smile as he stood up, Ahkmenrah nodded. “Thank you, Larry.” His smile turned mischievous as he crossed the room to where the night guard was standing.

“What would I do without you?” The pharaoh had his hands on Larry’s shoulders.

Larry smirked back. “Not this,” he said, closing the gap and pulling Ahkmenrah in for a kiss. Larry felt the pharaoh smiling back against his lips.

Unnoticed, the tablet glowed as the cat curled up on the sarcophagus and was purring.

**Author's Note:**

> *St. Nicholas Day is on December 6th. Presents are usually given in the shoes. I didn't want to make this a Christmas fic. The more you know :P
> 
> Also, the cat in #5 is based on my neighbor's cat, who is VERY friendly, and I wouldn't be surprised if he decided to travel all the way to NYC from the midwest to go make some new friends. (I did tell you this was a self-indulgent fic in the opening notes!)


End file.
